


A Mega Misunderstanding

by Hajon (DexxxtroDNA)



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Canon-Typical Violence, Commercials, Crack, Gen, Oreos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:50:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1853599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DexxxtroDNA/pseuds/Hajon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starscream believes he has found a new source of limitless power for the Decepticons. Little does he know, human television may have more to it than meets the eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mega Misunderstanding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DexxxtroDNA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DexxxtroDNA/gifts).



> Completely unedited crack, for your reading pleasure ;)

Megatron sat alone in his command room, pondering new and exciting ways to extract earth’s massive power and destroy the Autobots. “Hmm… “, Megatron said to himself, “perhaps I could harness the raw power of the sapphires of the Spokane Sapphire Mines…. “. Just as Megatron appeared to have a breakthrough Starscream charges into the room. “I have news Megatron!” an excited Starscream exclaimes. “STARSCREAM! This had better be important Starscream, you know I don’t like to be disturbed while plotting.” “Oh but it is great leader” Starscream replies in a proud voice, “While looking for new sources of power by watching earth television I have discovered the secret to the Autobots power!” “Well spit it out Starscream!” roares an impatient Megatron. “It appears that the earth cookie Oreo is capable of healing any injury, regardless of how severe, a bot may suffer!” explaines Starscream, “I observed a recording of Optimus recover from a shot through his chest upon obtaining an Oreo.” “Impressive discovery Starscream! Assemble the Deceptacons, we attack the Oreo factory Immediately!” “It’s not my job to assemble the Deceptacons Megatron!” replies Starscream in a defiant tone. “You will do as I command while I am in command; now assemble the Deceptacons before I decide you’d make better scrap metal then a lieutenant!” ‘FINE!” huffs Starscream as he stompes out of the room. “Soon I shall have everything I need to destroy the Autobots once and for all!” yelled Megarton as he raises his fists to the sky. 

Later that day at the Autobot headquarters, Optimus is using the computer to scan for any Deceptacon activity. “I know they’re up to something” mutteres Optimus, “it’s been far too long since the Deceptacons have done anything.” At that moment the computer’s alarm goes off. “Deceptacon activity detected at the Oreo factory” announces the computer. “I knew Megatron would strike soon, but the Oroe factory, what are you planning this time Megatron?” Optimus ponders, then yells in a heroic voice, “well whatever it is we will foil it! Autobots, to the Oreo factory!” Upon Optimus’ command all available Autobots assemble and rush to the Oreo factory. By the time the Autobots arrive the Deceptacons have complete control of the factory. Immediately combat ensues. Optimus notices the distinct lack of Megatron’s booming voice and questionable insults and deduces that he must be inside the factory. Optimus pushes his way past the line of Deceptacons and makes his way deep into the factory, there he finds Megatron holding the factory foreman hostage. 

“REVEAL THE SECRET BEHIND THE HEALING PROPERTIES OF YOUR COOKIES OR YOU SHALL BE DISINTEGRATED!” demands Megatron of the foreman. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” pleads the terrified foreman. “LIAR! NOW TELL ME WHAT I WANT TO KNOW BEFORE MY PATIENCE RUNS OUT!” an increasingly impatient Megatron yells. Just then Optimus bursts into the room, “Megatron, let the foreman go.” demands Optimus. “Ah well if it isn’t Optimus Prime, you of all people should know why I can’t do that.” taunts Megatron. “I have no idea what you’re talking about” replies a confused Optimus. “Don’t play dumb with me Optimus, I have a visual recording of a mortally wounded Autobot being completely repaired by an Oreo. You were that Autobot Prime, it was all in that television commercial” explains a now very frustrated Megatron. “Your logic circuits must be fried if you can’t tell the difference between reality and tv commercials Megatron” replies Optimus. “MY LOGIC CIRCUITS ARE FUNCTIONING AT MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY, BUT BY THE TIME I’M DONE WITH YOU YOURS WON’T BE!” yelles an enraged Megatron. Megatron then throws the foreman aside and charged at Optimus. Thankfully the foreman lands in a pile of nice soft metal drums so is uninjured. 

Upon reaching Optimus Megatron attempts to punch him, Optimus avoids this initial attack. “You’re getting rusty Megatron” Optimus taunted, “you should be stealing oil, not Oreos.” Optimus then draws his sword and slashes at Megatron, he makes a shallow gash on Megatron’s chest. “Very clever Optimus,” replies Megatron, “perhaps if your sword was as sharp as your tongue you would be able to harm me”. Megatron then lunges forward and knocks Optimus’ sword out of his hand. “I don’t need a sword to defeat the likes of you Megatron” states Optimus heroically. Optimus then grabs Megatron, lifts him up over his head, and throws him to the other side of the room. “Is that the best you can do Optimus?” says Megatron, “You’ll need to try harder to then that if you hope to defeat me”. Megatron then draws his gun and prepares to fire at Optimus. “Not so fast Megatron” Optimus replies, he then transforms into his truck form. Megatron fires over Optimus and Optimus drives towards Megatron. Megatron braces for impact and grabs Optimus. Optimus’ momentum carries them forward and Optimus manages to ram Megatron into the wall. Megatron, now badly injured, attempts with his remaining strength to punch Optimus but misses and Punches through Optimus’ trailer. Hundreds of Oreos pour from the hole in Optimus’ trailer. 

At that moment the battling Autobots and Deceptacons explode into the room. “What is this?” asks Megatron in a confused tone. “It’s not what it looks like” replies Optimus. “And you tried to tell me my logic circuits were fried,” states Megatron in a victorious tone, “Deceptacons, grab as many Oreos as you can carry and return to base, we have what we came for!” The Deceptacons disengage from the Autobots and retreat with Oreos in tow. “Well at least the humans are unharmed, and the building is…… well we did less damage to it than the Deceptacons” said Optimus, trying to divert attention from his trailer. “So optimus,” states Jazz, “what’s up with the Oreos?”. 

Back at Deceptacon headquarters Megatron sits in his quarters, awaiting the results of the oreo analysis. Suddenly there is a knock at the door. “Enter” bellows Megatron. Skywarp enters Megatron’s room. “Megatron, the analysis on the Oreos is complete” states Skywarp, “we have determined that they have no healing properties or any special properties at all for that matter”. “Then how do you explain the video, and Prime’s stash of Oreos?” demands Megatron. “Uhhh… “ stumbles Skywarp, “I don’t know.” He then notices Megatron’s injuries. “Oh Megatron, looks like your logic circuit has been damaged, want me to fix it?” says Skywarp, trying to redirect the conversation. “You immiscible” replies Megatron, “my logic circuit is in my head not my chest, your medical knowledge is as lacking as Starscream’s loyalty. Now stop wasting my time and go get me an Oreo!”

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the commercial, which is crack in and of itself: 
> 
> [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AitiqKEvaY](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_AitiqKEvaY/)


End file.
